How Important Is Mindset When Attracting A New Partner?
When it comes to attracting a new partner, many people focus on their physical appearance, financial status, or social status. However, one crucial factor that is often overlooked is the mindset.
“Your mindset is everything. It determines how you think, feel,
and act in every situation, including your relationships.”
~ Jay Shetty ~
Your mindset can significantly impact your ability to attract and maintain a healthy and fulfilling relationship. In this article, we will explore why mindset is so important when attracting a new partner and how having a positive mindset can improve your chances of finding a lasting and meaningful relationship.
Cultivating a positive mindset will make you look and act more confident, whether you are at work or in a social scenario. This confidence can benefit your personal and professional life because it will cause people to view you differently.
Those around you will notice your winning attitude and be drawn toward your positive aura. They will want to hang out with you because of your relaxed, fun, yet confident approach to life. Liking yourself and being comfortable in your own skin is a huge attraction factor and sometimes even serves as an aphrodisiac.
What if you feel shy when approaching members of the opposite sex?
Have you always wanted to be the leading man or leading woman?
By gaining the right mindset, you can rewrite the screenplay to your own personal film to be just that.
Well, it’s time to make some changes because it’s never too late to live a fulfilling life, and you don’t always have to be the leading person to do that.
Even A Shy Person Can Be A Winner
You will need to gradually get past your social anxiety by accepting your shyness. Shyness can work to your advantage because there’s something charming about someone who doesn’t use one-liners over and over again, like in twenty-year-old toothpaste commercials.
In today’s society, that full-steam-ahead approach is often deemed creepy and seen as a huge turn-off, whereby being shy in your approach is perfectly fine. However, by acting naturally and being honest with yourself and others, you create trust with your openness, which people perceive as having confidence.
Why Do We Fear Acting Or Looking Foolish?
Most people don’t make the first move because they typically fear rejection, humiliation, and embarrassment. The sad part is most of these situations never occur, and we paralyze ourselves with the fear that only exists in our heads. Unfortunately, this often causes us to act foolishly.
All of us have been in a situation where we were invited to a party or club with friends, and someone who we found attractive caught our eye. But, unfortunately, we don’t take action because of our fears and end up feeling disappointed by the outcome of the evening or situation.
Approaching a complete stranger, whom we know nothing about, is easier said than done. Instead of mentally playing different versions of how you would approach them in your head, where you only end up repeating the same scenario of being turned down, you create a new script that leaves you triumphant at the end.
By taking action, we remove the mental blockage and stagnation caused by our fear of rejection and looking like a fool.
Rewrite Your Script…
“When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”
~ Wayne Dyer ~
Most of what you fear results from how much pressure you put upon yourself. As you approach someone you are interested in, you are no longer acting relaxed and “normal“ because you’re trying to win their approval. Instead, try to recognize what they are doing, which would win your approval.
Make it your goal to connect with the person genuinely. Observe what they’re talking about, what they’re wearing, or reading to find a topic of conversation or a mutual interest that might be attractive to you. Become the interviewer and not the interviewee.
Here are three ways you can show a new person that you are interested in them and find common ground:
- Ask open-ended questions.
- Instead of asking yes or no questions, try asking open-ended questions encouraging the person to share more about themselves.
- Listen actively.
- When the person is sharing information with you, make sure you are actively listening. This means making eye contact, nodding your head, and responding appropriately.
- Share your own interests.
- After the person has shared some information with you, share some of your own interests and experiences.
For example, if you’re at a bookstore, ask them about the book they are reading. Maybe you’ve read that book so that you could ask something like this:
- “The main character in that novel is always getting himself into trouble, wouldn’t you agree?”
- “Have you seen the film version of that book yet, and if so, what did you like the most about it?”
By asking these questions, you are showing interest in them as a person, allowing them to share their likes and dislikes and become curious about your interests.
In addition, this form of questioning creates an interaction that quickly turns into a mutual conversation.
The Winning Mindset Is Fun
Other ways of finding people to have conversations with include participating in meet-ups, joining a sports club, or getting involved in hobbies that interest you. But, again, the chances of connecting with someone who shares your interests are higher because you will be less uptight when doing something fun.
Doing something you love will automatically make you more excited and attractive because you’ll be in a good mood. Being in a playful mood, you won’t fall into the trap of needing someone’s approval. As Caroline Myss once said: “When you do not seek or need approval, you are at your most powerful.”
In conclusion, if you approach things with the right mindset, you can be timid or the leading person type and still find a rewarding relationship. Being yourself is the key to exuding the confidence that could attract the perfect partner.
So remember to rewrite your script and put yourself in the role that you feel portrays the real you.